Your safety

Your ultimate goal in using gayParship is to find someone who is right for you.

That's why gayParship - with the help of the Parship test - only links you to people whose profiles are compatible with yours. Vitally, as a service that protects your anonymity online, we also put you in control as you get to know other members.

gayParship's members

We make as much effort as possible to ensure that the gayParship member database does not include individuals who will abuse the service. In gayParship's Terms & Conditions you will find a section (Members' Obligations) which outlines the levels of legality, decency and community respect that gayParship's members must observe.

gayParship's SECURE ONLINE SYSTEMS

Our secure online systems give you control over your anonymity.

gayParship will never reveal your personal details to other members. On the gayParship website you are known exclusively by a neutral ID number. Your name, your email address, your phone number and your home address are concealed and protected by the website's secure infrastructure.

When using the site, members can only communicate through gayParship’s anonymous contact and messaging system. At all points, it is for YOU to choose whether you supply another member with further personal details (such as your name and email address).

Likewise, you choose whether to include a photograph or photographs on your profile. If you do choose to upload a photo to gayParship's secure server, it is then for you to decide exactly who sees it – and when. If, at any time, you do NOT wish another specific member to see your photo, then you simply withhold the photo.

COMMUNICATING THROUGH gayParship - POINTS TO REMEMBER

1. Don't give out personal contact details immediately. Remember you are the one in control. Don't put personal contact details in your profile or in the first messages you send to another member.
2. You can contact/reply to other members via gayParship's secure, anonymous contact system. Take your time to learn more about each potential partner and to feel comfortable about communicating with him/her. It is for you to decide if and when you want to take things further - for instance by supplying your name, your personal email address or your mobile phone number.
3. You may wish to set up an email account exclusively for activities connected to your search for a partner. Free, web-based email services like Hotmail are ideal for this - and you don't have to reveal your name in the email address.
4. If you want to talk to another member on the phone, remember that a mobile phone number gives you more flexibility and anonymity. It's also easier, if necessary, to change a mobile number than a fixed line number. When calling another member, you can key 141 first to prevent your number appearing on the other person’s caller ID.
5. If anything makes you feel uncomfortable about another member, stop contacting them. You can delete their profile instantly from your gayParship Contacts list, which means they will be unable to contact you via the website. If you feel someone is abusing the service, tell us immediately.
6. Always use your common sense and remember you are the one in control.

ARRANGING TO MEET ANOTHER MEMBER - POINTS TO REMEMBER

We sincerely hope that you reach the point of deciding to meet other gayParship members face to face, but at all times the choice is clearly yours.

When meeting another member, we recommend you bear the following points in mind.

1. Meet 'on neutral ground' in a busy public place that you know well.
2. Don't arrange for the other member to pick you up from your home.
3. Don't let the other member make arrangements for your travel or for any hotel accommodation.
4. Keep a trustworthy friend or relative informed and on call.
4.1. Let this friend or relative know where you are going and what time you are expected home.
4.2. Supply your friend/relative with details of the person you are going to meet.
4.3. At a suitable point, call your friend/relative to let them know that things are OK.
5. Consider going on a double date with a friend/friends, or going out with a group. The group can include people you know and people your date knows.
6. You will probably feel that you know someone through email and phone contact, but remember that they are still a stranger when you first meet face to face.
7. Don't accept a lift home if you feel uncomfortable about it.
8. Always have a contingency plan in place. If something unexpected happens, make sure you can leave quickly and easily and that there are people close by who can help you if necessary.
9.Take a mobile phone with you. Make sure the phone is fully charged and working. You can leave the phone on during the date if you wish.
10. It can take time to get to know someone properly. If a person is truly interested in you, they won't mind if you want to take your time to develop a relationship.
11. Always use your common sense, keep in control and don't be forced into doing something you wouldn't normally do.

PROTECTING YOURSELF FROM FRAUD AND SCAMS

Like you, the vast majority of gayParship members are genuine people who have joined the service to find a serious relationship. Like you, they appreciate everything gayParship does to provide a secure environment for members. For instance:

• all gayParship member profiles are checked before they go live on the site;
• your identity is kept private with a neutral codename;
• your photo remains private until you choose to 'release' it on a one-to-one basis;
• the payment system is safe and reliable … and so on.

But on the Internet, as in any other area of life, there is the rare dishonest individual who finds a way past security measures and who will use deception to obtain money or valuable personal details. These people are known as scammers.

Scammers - the signs

• Photos that look 'professionally' shot and where the person (male or female) is of 'model' quality
• Emails that do not address your questions but rather seem to go down a structured path of pre-meditated content conveying an ever increasing attraction to you
• Emails from men or women living in Russia, Eastern Europe or Africa
• In some cases, UK based correspondents claiming to be attractive Russian or Eastern European women or men
• Fraudsters use the identities of US Generals or US business men. Common male professions are army generals / colonel, civil engineer in the oil / gold industry or jewellery designer. Common female professions are nurses and fashion designer, but mostly the female fraudster does not make a direct reference to her profession.
• Sob stories' - ill relatives; recently widowed; they've been robbed; they have no money for flights or for furthering education; they cannot cash a cheque or money order
• Asking you to deposit money on their behalf into a UK bank
• Poor grammar and spelling in emails.
• No spaces between the end of one sentence and the beginning of the next (blocks of text)
• Use 'webspeak' or text abbreviations such as 'pls', 'u r' etc
• Try to get you onto an instant messenger service quickly
• Use pet names for you early on

Fraudulant job offers

It is possible that individuals may email you with offers of employment with Parship. These fraudsters are using Parship's name illegally in an attempt to obtain money or personal details from you.

Please note:

• All genuine job opportunities at Parship are advertised at www.parship.com/jobs and all applications for these jobs are made via jobs@parship.com
• Parship will never contact you from webmail addresses such as yahoo, hotmail, gmail, gmx etc.
• Any contact from Parship will always be made via an email address ending '@parship.com' or '@psg.parship.com'
• We will never request your bank account/card details and any request for the transfer of money (see previous section) should be regarded as potentially fraudulent activity.
• If you receive a suspect email (as described above) you should not click on any links or open any attachments. They might expose you to viruses which could severely damage your computer.

Scammers- protect yourself

• Report a suspicious profile or behaviour by using the Is there something suspicious about this profile button at the bottom of each profile page.
• Never send money to anyone you have encountered on the Internet, but have not met personally.
• If you have any doubts or suspicions, delete the member from your gayParship mailbox.

Setting standards in the industry

Together with the Serious Organised Crime Agency (SOCA) we have developed a set of criteria that make a safe dating site:

• Check if the site is offering any safety advice or even pro-actively advises its members of common online safety do's and don'ts
• Check if the site is offering an easy and customer friendly route to reporting suspicious profiles, for example an alert button at the bottom of every profile
• Check if the site does any profile checks (photos, about me entries, payment or even IP checks)

We are pleased to advise that we are ticking all these boxes.

In addition Parship UK is currently assisting Dr. Monica Whitty (University of Leicester) and Tom Buchanan (Westminster University) in their research project "An examination of the online romance scam" funded by an ESRC grant.

If you suspect anyone on this service then report them to us immediately through the contact form.

At gayParship, we try our best to help make your experience of finding a long-term relationship both secure and safe. We hope that - supported by your trust and good judgement - Parship will help you find someone who really is right for you.